Reward or Relief? An Experienced Bay Area Therapist Explains - The Psychology of Reinforcement and Why Reinforcement Is the Unsung Hero of Behavior Change
- Janelle Brady, MS, LMFT
- Jun 13
- 4 min read
What is Positive Reinforcement & Negative Reinforcement?
Understanding how reinforcement works can help individuals, families, and organizations create environments that support motivation, accountability, and growth.
Positive reinforcement involves adding something desirable—such as praise, privileges, tokens, or access to a preferred activity—to increase the likelihood of a behavior being repeated.
It encourages people to continue engaging in behaviors that lead to positive outcomes.
Example in therapy: A teen who attends all their therapy sessions on time earns extra time at the end of the session to listen to music or talk about a favorite topic.
This reward increases the likelihood they’ll continue showing up consistently.
Negative reinforcement, on the other hand, involves removing something unpleasant or aversive to increase a desired behavior.
This is often misunderstood: it’s not a punishment.
Instead, it's about encouraging behavior by taking away something unwanted once the desired behavior occurs.
Example in therapy: A child who expresses their anger verbally instead of acting out physically no longer has to take a break from group play.
The removal of the “break time” (which they dislike) reinforces their use of verbal expression.
In therapy, both positive and negative reinforcement are used intentionally to support behavior change.
The goal is to increase helpful behaviors and reduce unhelpful ones in a way that aligns with the client’s needs and goals.
Reinforcement strategies are not one-size-fits-all—they’re thoughtfully integrated into a broader therapeutic plan.
Reinforcement is also used in many areas of life—like parenting, education, fitness, pet training, and the workplace.
In education, a student who completes classwork on time may earn a classroom privilege.
In the workplace, employees might receive public recognition or a bonus after hitting a performance target.
In parenting, a child might earn screen time for completing chores without reminders.
In fitness, someone might reduce a strenuous part of their routine (like a long run) after consistently hitting smaller weekly goals.
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Positive Reinforcement Examples for Teens in Therapy
Increasing Session Engagement
A teen struggling with motivation begins contributing more during sessions.
To reinforce this, the therapist allows the teen to choose a preferred topic or activity for the last 5 minutes of each session (e.g., drawing, music, or sharing memes).
Reinforcer: access to a preferred activity.
Encouraging Use of Coping Skills
A teen with anxiety starts using grounding techniques (like 5-4-3-2-1) between sessions.
The therapist acknowledges and praises this effort,
Then tracks their progress with a visual chart. After a certain number of uses, the teen earns a small reward, like bringing in a snack or earning a positive message to take home.
Reinforcer: verbal praise
Reinforcer: tangible incentives.
Building Healthy Communication at Home
A teen practices respectful communication with a caregiver (e.g., using "I feel" statements).
When the teen reports a successful interaction, the therapist celebrates this with them and
Invites them to bring in a short video, photo, or object that represents their pride.
Reinforcer: therapist provides validation
Reinforcer: personal expression.
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Negative Reinforcement Examples for Teens in Therapy
1. Reducing Avoidance of Difficult Topics
A teen avoids discussing a traumatic memory.
The therapist agrees to temporarily shorten the time spent on trauma-related content if the teen first engages with a regulated breathing exercise or shares at least one emotion they felt during the week.
Aversive stimulus removed: pressure or discomfort around trauma discussion.
2. Supporting School Attendance
A teen struggling with school avoidance begins attending 3 days a week.
The therapist and caregiver agree that once attendance improves, the teen no longer has to attend a daily check-in with a school counselor (which they find stressful, but the teen dreads).
Aversive condition (daily check-ins) is removed once desired behavior occurs.
3. Decreasing Conflict in Family Sessions
During family therapy, a teen is prone to withdrawing when conflict arises.
The therapist sets up a plan: if the teen uses a coping card or verbalizes they need a moment rather than storming out, the session will shift topics earlier, or they can leave 5 minutes early as long as the transition is respectful.
Removal of aversive situation (prolonged family conflict) as reinforcement.
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Clinical Notes:
Reinforcement should match the teen’s interests and be developmentally appropriate.
Be mindful of power dynamics—rewards should feel collaborative, not controlling.
Whenever possible, reinforcement is paired with self-reflection, helping teens internalize success and link effort to growth.
Especially with teens, autonomy and voice are powerful reinforcers—so offering choice or a say in the process is often more effective than external rewards alone.
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